A Role Model Is Found In One Mom's Book Love

When Dawn Mannix, wife and mother of two, unearthed her copy of Jane Eyre in preparation for her Book Love interview, the tale that was written within had been read so many times since she was first introduced to it approximately twenty years earlier, it was familiar, welcoming and inspiring. However, this particular copy of the book managed to hold within not only Charlotte Brontë's words, but others, etched by a mysterious person holding a key to some forgotten piece of Dawn's dating life.

Can Book Love Lead To Romantic Love?

As Dawn has been my best friend for just about two decades, I received a phone call as soon as her book was found so that the serendipitous hilarity could be shared. In the front cover of Dawn's book was an inscription from a mysterious gentleman caller hoping that they both have a great time on their first date. He went even further to wish Dawn nothing but joy, love, and success in life. A beautiful sentiment written in Dawn's favorite book of all time. It seems the perfect gift. I thought, "Whoa, what a great first impression." Problem was - neither one of us could remember who this guy was. Dawn could barely make out his signature! After nearly 48 hours of squinting, scrutinizing, trying to remember a date in 1999, Dawn ultimately figured it out when she put her husband to the task of deciphering the handwriting.

It was a guy named Brendan she went on one date with. Obviously, no sparks. According to Dawn he was a cute guy, but had a little too much baggage. The lesson learned from this: Dawn really loves Jane Eyre and, evidently, while in her twenties, she would talk about it so much that some guy thought it was the key to impressing her on a first date.

Other First Impressions

While Brendan's first impression was fleeting, the enormous impact Jane had on Dawn hit first in a sophomore English class when she was 15 years old. Since Dawn and I went to high school together, we discussed what it was like to read the book at 15. I asked Dawn if she could remember how she identified with Jane Eyre when she first read the book. "I identified with how she sees herself versus how the world sees her. For example, she sees herself as plain, while she is described as a witch."

Dawn wishes that every girl of high school age could be given a copy of Jane Eyre to read. She said, "Young girls could take a tremendous amount from this book." When I asked her what she believes some of the big lessons were that Jane could impart, without hesitation, Dawn said, "[Jane] wouldn't let anybody demean her," throughout her entire story she was "never a damsel in distress. She didn't need a man." Dawn has only one reservation about the widespread distribution of the book - the vocabulary. When we discussed the possibility of an abridged or children's version of the book, I asked Dawn if she would start reading Jane Eyre to her daughter (in the first grade) now if she could. Her response, "Hailey would love Jane!" (I did find a "Classics Retold" version of the book released by Usborne Children's Books online, but have yet to actually read it or share this news with Dawn.)

Life Lessons

As Dawn read and re-read Jane Eyre over the years, even more life lessons came soaring through its pages to her. As she reminisced about all of the dramas in Jane's life, and how dignified Jane was through it all, she kept coming back to two themes that shone above all others. Dawn says it was in reading Jane Eyre that she "first learned that love is not perfect." For those who have read the book, this might be the understatement of the century - poor Jane and Rochester! Rochester who loved Bertha enough to care for her even after her madness, despite her affinity for fire, despite her desire to run around on all fours like an animal; Jane who love Rochester despite his mad wife, with or without his riches, with or without his vision. Their love was not perfect by a long shot. They are an extreme case, but the lesson does hold true.

The second poignant point Dawn picked up from Jane was her amazing ability to come back from so much hardship, and to come back from it stronger. When I asked Dawn if she ever employed a "WWJD - What would Jane Do?" perspective on a situation in her life since it had such a great impact on her, she laughed, but then more seriously answered, "I don't think there's any circumstance you can't come back from." She said she finds that most people don't believe this, but after reading this novel she has lived by this idea - no matter how bad it gets, even when your life seems to bottom out, there's always a way back.

Some of Dawn's Other Book Loves

When I asked Dawn how Jane Eyre affected her reading choices throughout her life she said that her favorite books have always been written by women. In her opinion, "Women write women accurately." Three of her top reads (after Jane, of course) are

• Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen
• Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
• Three Junes by Julia Glass

Have you had a book love lead you to romantic love?

Do you prefer exposing children to abridged or re-tellings of classic tales at a younger age, or waiting until they can "handle" the original version?

For lovers of Jane Eyre, what are the great lessons that Jane taught you?

Want to share your first book love? Check this out.

What if #12 [Writing Prompt]

Each week the Rivera Runs Through It blog presents a different "What If...?" question for you to explore. Some will be serious, some will be silly, some might be political, religious or historical.

 At the bottom of this post is a place for you to link up your own post about this week's question. If you have arrived at this post and the inlinkz tool is closed, or you don't have a blog, then please leave your response (or link) in the comment section below using DISQUS.

Happy pondering to everyone...

What IF #12:

What if you came face to face with your idol?

Tonight my best friend is at a Smashing Pumpkins concert. It is in a small venue, she pulled in all kinds of babysitting favors and went through various ticketing agencies to ensure she got tickets. She worried over her outfit of choice and was getting increasingly nervous as the day went on.  You see, she absolutely adores Billy Corgan, and this has been going on for about twenty years.

About two years ago, she arranged a trip up here to New York (she lives in Maryland these days) so that the both of us could go to an exhibition at the Rubin Museum of Art just because Billy Corgan was going to be there. It was a truly fascinating day, but what has stuck with the two of us more than anything what what happened when she was standing practically shoulder to shoulder with Billy Corgan himself in the exhibit after his talk: absolutely NOTHING!

I stepped out of the way so she would have a clear shot at him and then... nothing. She completely froze. She was star struck in a way I had never seen her before! While I argued that he was just another human being with whom she, a competent communicator who worked in marketing, advertising and promotion in New York City long before taking on another social role of mother of two very active children, could easily speak to, it seemed my message was lost. He was not human, at least not to her; he was Billy Corgan.

Most of us have someone who fits that role in some way - perhaps they're a rock star, an athlete, an actor, an author, a world leader or a religious one. Perhaps you think you will have a cooler head. Perhaps this is a meeting you have been planning for and have a script already written. Or, perhaps, like my friend Dawn, you know that you have built your someone up so high that your words will get lost on your chance meeting! Whatever the case may be - write about it!

Let us know who your idol is, maybe even why you regard him/her so highly, and then share your tale with us! What if YOU came face to face with your idol?

I can't wait to read the responses to this week's question (I know many people at New York Comic Con this weekend had this exact experience!).

P.S. - Hey Dawn!! If you are less than two feet from Billy Corgan tonight, I had better be getting some GOOD story tomorrow morning!!!

For a list of all of the What if questions asked so far, 

see The What If Prompts