I'm Going To Be Okay, Right?

As I checked times and bus information last night the nerves began to jitter. I will have to be out of my house at 6:30 am tomorrow morning just to make it on time to the first day of the book party I have waited all year for: BookExpo America. To a Nicole of another time, that was nothing, these days it is a daunting task. It is not the waking that is the issue, of course (too many times I am still wide awake at that time with no sleep in sight), it is instead, waking pain free, symptom free and with the ability to be social that causes problems.

A blog is fun because of its beautiful technological shield of detachment. I can't tell you how many times I sat before my keyboard, in pain, grimacing, running away to the bathroom mid-sentence or, stopping completely to lay down because the room starting spinning. The words I type never reveal my secrets. Not unless I tell them to. I edit out the ugly, to present my happy face. There was a time when I was strong enough to do that in real life too. I'd go to work, smiling, sincerely happy to be there, but in pain all the same. I'd fight the pain, squash it down and present a figure pleasing to the public.

I miss that power. Even with full understanding that habit is partially to blame for my current weaknesses. I miss the hide-able symptoms. Though my chronic conditions are both in the  family of "you don't look like you're sick" diseases, my face, or more specifically, my eyes have begun to betray me. I suppose the smile I present seems ingenuine these days, because when I offer it up with my super shield, "I'm okay," too many people look at me and say, knowingly, "No, you're not."

So what I am wishing for is a miracle. I am wishing for the next four days to be good days. I am wishing for symptom-free hours so I can talk to new people introducing myself, without having to introduce my chronic diseases as well. Is it possible? I don't know, but I'd like to hope so. 

YA Book Review and Giveaway - Skinny by Donna Cooner

When I heard about Skinny by Donna Cooner in the YA Editor's Buzz Panel at this year's Book Expo America, I knew it was one book I just had to get my hands on. Not only did this book sound like it was going going to be an enjoyable read, I felt that it might also turn out to be an important one.

Skinny is the debut novel of Donna Cooner and it will be released in October 2012. Aimee Friedman, the book's editor, described the book as one that "could change lives," that was written in an "incredible voice," that is "haunted," but also has "dazzle." She claimed that this "novel is both timely and timeless," with "rich characters" throughout.Does it sound like too much for one book to handle? I promise you, it is not.

Summary 

The novel is told in first person from the perspective of Ever Davies, a 15 year old girl, who is over 300 pounds and is haunted by a voice she has named "Skinny." Skinny tells Ever everything others are thinking about her, constantly calling her fat and unlovable in any number of cruel ways. The whispers of Skinny are enough to silence her beautiful singing voice which she knows is her great talent.

When embarrassment and frustration reaches its peak, Ever goes through gastric bypass surgery in order to live the life of her dreams. Ever's journey towards happiness is not solved magically overnight with this surgery. As readers, we are swept up in the challenges of Ever's day to day: what to eat, how to exercise, how to get her dream boy to notice her, how to behave in the new social scene around her and how to deal with the fact that the surgery did not silence Skinny.

My Review

I loved this book. I believe we all have a "Skinny" inside of us. Maybe our Skinny doesn't whisper to us about our weight or looks; maybe her chant is about our competence at work or school, or how (un)athletic we are. (My voice should probably be called "Sickly" since she's always talking about how my health is holding me back from everything - honestly, she needs to shut up!) With this singular truth, Ever's story hits home from page one - and for those readers who are struggling with their weight that impact will be tenfold.  Donna Cooner's writing in Skinny's lines is so steeped in reality that they deliver the stings only one's inside voice can.

Cooner's skills did not stop with Skinny's script. All of the characters in this novel come vividly to life. Ever is surrounded by a fairly large cast of characters of varying importance to the unfolding story; each and every one of these characters were given a rich description and persona. I never once found myself confusing one character for another. In fact, right now, days later, I can recall character names, personalities, and even styles from characters as important as the two boys in Ever's life - her best friend Rat and her dream guy Jackson - to those background characters like Gigi, a girl in the drama program and Wolfgang, a guy her step-sister had a crush on.

I have to agree with the book's editor when she claimed that this book has the ability to change lives. I believe, presented to the right person at the right time, Skinny can make all the difference in the world. For anyone who is insecure, particularly those young adults in the social high school scene, count Skinny as one of your must reads this Fall. This Fall won't be about fighting against the Capitol, the Dark Arts, or any other outside demons; with our new heroine, Ever Davies, YA readers will be learning to fight the most important battle of all: the one against their internal insecurities.

ARC Giveaway

A book this good has to be shared. Let's get the buzz going before it's big release this Fall! I have an Uncorrected Proof Advanced Reader Copy that I received at the 2012 Book Expo America that I'm looking to GIVE TO YOU! I'm opening this Giveaway up to the world - yep, that's right, International - so, don't let the borders bind you: use the Rafflecopter widget below to enter for your chance to win. 
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Buried in Books - My BEA2012 Reads

I was expecting it all week: a grandiose headline in the New York Post saying "Buried In Books!" over a picture of my body splayed on the pavement under four canvas bags spilling countless hardcovered and trade paperback novels over me with an article starting something like this:

NEW YORK, NY - A middle aged woman was found Thursday night on 42nd Avenue, buried and broken, underneath the weight of the Advanced Reader's Copies (ARCs) she gathered from her day at this year's Book Expo America. "I told her not to overdo it," her husband said to reporters as he came into Manhattan from their Staten Island home to gather the books, "This is ridiculous. She wants me to bring the books to the hospital!"[cont...]

It could go on from there. There could be added details about how my Intracranial Hypertension decided to attack with a whopping headache on Tuesday, how my Colitis gave me daily warnings about not leaving home, and how I had to take breaks more than the average person just to get through each day. However, the freak accident didn't occur, with all the breaks, and perhaps without as much flourish as a 100% healthy person: I made it.

And now that I am home, I have a lot to read. Don't believe me? Let me show you...

Four Days Worth of Book Blogger and Book Expo America 2012 Review Materials:

All of the books, bookmarks and info gathered from Book Expo America (BEA) 2012.

However, I realize that might be a little difficult to see, so here are some close-ups for you:

The Dog Lived and So Will I is actually autographed for me and Buffy (my beagle)!

SO many titles in this pile I am excited about... I don't know where to begin!

Burn for Burn  by Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian  just happens to be the first book I started reading.

The 2012 Penguin Breathless Reads box set (which I WON on Thursday!).

The End of Men caught my eye, because the subtitle is "And The Rise Of Women" - Look Out Boys!

The non-fiction YA titles in this pile are books I can't wait to shout out about!

What's that on the bottom? A book from The Bloggess?! Oh yes it is, and she is AWESOME!

LOTS of bookmarks - many are autographed!

2013 calendar, my notebook full of even more info and goodies from my Meet & Greet with The Apocalypsies!

Comics!!

Information about some amazing books on Buffy, Star Trek's Federation, The Hobbit movie tie-in and a NEW C&H box set.

Aside from the bags I got from a number of exhibitors, that is everything gathered over the full four days. I am exhausted, my house is a mess and my dogs neglected - it's time to for me to play a bit of catch up with the life I put on hold for a week! In the meantime,

• you should go see some of the great BEA events via the Livestream I posted here on Tuesday (they are rerunning a number of recorded events), and
• in the comments below, let me know what book, bookmark, or other goodie from the pictures above you are looking forward to getting more info about most. 

Have a great weekend and get ready for lots of GIVEAWAYS coming from Rivera Runs Through It (this way I really don't end up getting buried in books)!

Book Expo America Live Streaming

I am super excited that this year I have the opportunity to take part in the Book Expo America (BEA) happening right here in New York City at the Jacob Javitz Center. Yesterday I was able to spend the entire day BEA Bloggers Conference and now I am spending the rest of the week touring the rest of the expo. If you are unable to attend the expo for yourself, I'd like to invite you to join in on some of the fun with me by taking advantage of the Live Streaming below. Keep an eye out for me - I promise to wave whenever I see the live stream cameras!

BEA Live Streaming begins Tuesday, June 5 at 8:30 am ET with BEA's Book and Author Breakfast and continues on two live channels through the end of BEA on Thursday, June 7.