What Is Love?

The other day I was watching an episode of Soul Pancake with Rainn Wilson and Oprah Winfrey. The focus of the episode was LOVE. It was a wonderful reflection on love in all of its forms. They showed stories of people who exuded and exemplified love in everything that they did. In between the stories they sent the Soul Pancake team out into the public to ask people to answer one question: "What is love?"

Image Adapted from here.

They asked people on the street, elementary school students, people in relationships, single people and people of all different ages and races. As you can imagine, the answers were quite varied. There were explanations of romantic love, platonic love, many discussed the love they felt from their mothers and fathers, some discussed the power of love and a couple cowered in the "bigness" of the question. While I typically sit passively absorbing such presentations, I found myself on this day leaning in to my television, creeping to the edge of my couch, waiting for someone to ask me "What is love?" I had something to say about it that no one else was saying.

Today, I am going to pretend that you asked me this question. Here's what I have to say:

I used to think that "What is love?" was one of the big, unanswerable questions of life. However, I have come to a new conclusion - one that is simple, clear and, once understood, obvious:

Love is the answer.

When my mother was dying and she knew her time was coming, she weakly waved all of us into her room. It became clear she wanted all of us - her long-time boyfriend, my brother and I, my fiancee, my cousins (who were essentially extended siblings) and anyone else who was in the house at the time. Her hand, mere bones covered in a wrongly-colored flesh grabbed mine with a strength I didn't think existed there any more. My fiancee held both of our hands in his. With another pulse of her hand and a serious look into our eyes, we were called to attention, as was the rest of the group when she whispered, "Love each other." My fiancee squeezed our hands as we promised we would, but my mother wasn't done yet. She just repeated the words and repeated them and repeated them. I hadn't realized, at first, what she was doing as her glossed-over, fading eyes shifted around the room, until I heard each person in the room say, "We will. We promise." This wasn't my mother's wedding night advice that she knew she would be unable to deliver - these were her dying words to us all. 

"Love each other..."

That was nearly seven years ago.  I took it as words from a woman who loved her family ferociously and wished nothing to break us up. She wanted us to "love each other," because "charity begins at home," and "family is always first," and that may be exactly as she intended it. However, in the last couple of years, I have come to read it in a different way. I have come to believe that this is the answer.

In fact, I was nearly struck dumb when I recently read George Harrison's final reported words to his wife and son. They were, "Love one another." Coincidence? Perhaps I haven't told you, I don't believe in coincidences. Three words again, with the same exact message, delivered in nearly the same format. Did George intend those words for his family alone, or is this the one searing message that comes through when we let go of everything else?

So I've been thinking  about it... What if we lived solely by these words, "love one another"? Would civilization collapse? Would planetary destruction ensue? Would we survive?

I came to one conclusion, we would not only survive, we would thrive. We would find ways to feed the hungry, clothe and shelter the poor and enrich the lives of those around us. We would, undoubtedly, accomplish the goal of all goals - world peace - as there can be no reason to be at war if we love each other. 

The more I think of it, the clearer it seems: LOVE IS THE ANSWER. Whether your question is "What is my purpose?", "What is the meaning of life?", or, "What should we do next Tuesday?" the answer is, "love."

Of course, it is much easier said than done when we are faced with others whose ideology comes crashing head-on with our own and those who have hurts us in the past, but, for at least today, a day that is commercially celebrated as Love's Big Day, let's do it! Let's LOVE ONE ANOTHER!

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!