Fighting to Finish

Neil Gaiman

In November 2011 I participated in NaNoWriMo and "finished" a novel. It's an interesting way to put it because all I did was write a first draft. The novel itself was far from finished.

When I sat down to edit in 2012 I signed up for a critique workshop online and joined a writing group that met locally to help me along my path.

Mark each as a fail.

The online workshop was a bust (some confusion with the workshop leader) and the local writing group was inconsistent at best. I was floundering and, without a support system, I filled my days with other distractions. I needed eyes other than my own to read my words, and loved ones just wouldn't do in this situation.

This Fall I went into a deep writing hibernation that extended even into my blogging (as is evident with a quick glance at the sidebar). I wrote in my journal and other notebooks, started a bunch of new stories and came up with ideas for new novels (two that I am really excited about), but I typed nothing. I also read a lot. I read novels and graphic novels, for sure, but I also read about writing. I was searching for... something.

In the interim, Nail Gaiman seemed to be popping up all over. And over and over again his one bit of advice would tear out among the rest: FINISH. Every time I'd hear (or read) him say it I'd feel a fire shoot up my spine: What am I doing? I'd feel guilty about my abandoned love,  Why can't I finish? Then, last week, when I was watching John and Hank Green's "An Evening Of Awesome At Carnegie Hall" event on YouTube while reorganizing my entire living room and dining room, he showed up again.

There, on my giant TV Mr. Gaiman, was doling out writing advice to an audience of Nerdfighters. Of course, I knew he wasn't really talking to them, he was telling me that I should FINISH things. He said that I would learn so much more from a finished project that's a failure than a whole bunch of unfinished fantastic ones.

Repetition works. I know this. As a teacher I employed this daily - repeat, repeat, repeat - no one gets it the first time. So there I was, a student of Mr. Gaiman's, and after being pummeled in the head countless times, the lesson was finally seeping in... I stood there, covered in a flock of dust bunnies and realized I owed it to myself to see Dear 302, my first draft from NaNoWriMo 2011, all the way through to its end. I had to take action.

Strange things happen when you have moments like those; it's like the universe is waiting for them in order to pour opportunities over your head. That Thursday the good people at NaNoWriMo hosted a "What Now?" twitter chat where the topic of beta readers came up. As a first step, I volunteered as a beta reader for who ever would have me, just to get myself reconnected to my online writing community.

It worked.

I am a beta reader for two NaNoPals. While reading, I continued my own rewriting and editing, and, in turn, felt confident enough to throw some of my pages out into the ether. The comments came back this morning. They're awesome! I feel like I'm "in it" again and ready to go all the way this time.

To add to the excitement, I just found out this week that the online critique workshop I was in last year was such a flop I have been offered a refund and free admission to a new workshop hosted by the site. The timing is perfect. I was not ready for this any earlier.

So here I go again, back into the deep end. The newbie novelist learning as she goes. Wish me luck!