What if there's nothing?
Imagine...
As I wrote in the prompt for this "What if?" I have heard John Lennon's "Imagine
" song an innumerable amount of times. I have sung along, I have indeed imagined that there was no heaven, no hell and that people were living for today. I understood the premise behind the song (and still do), and can validate the argument put forth within it. Our world needs to come together for the here and the now while we share this space. It is a message to us all, not necessarily, something for my solitary consideration.
A New Perspective...
It follows, then, that it is not the nature of the idea of nothing after death that was new to me when I saw that episode of Torchwood
that triggered all of this, it was, instead, my perception of the idea.When presented with a resurrected dead man saying that there's "nothing" after death in the midst of a sci-fi television show, my mind went in a completely different direction than it had once gone with John Lennon's melody. This had nothing to do with war, or peace, or hunger or greed - this was a single human being expressing his fear that what he saw when he died was nothing, just darkness. It was a personal, not global, realization and I think that made all of the difference to me. While John Lennon asked the masses to ponder the idea of nothing after death, this television show presented it to me, alone, not to save the world, but instead to think about.
The Question Haunts...
I didn't say anything. I didn't act on it. I didn't even write about it. The word "nothing" just swirled in my head. I figured I was merely obsessing over the long-term storyline of the Torchwood series.
Until two days later.
We were off to Manhattan to take my mother-in-law for some medical tests. I agreed to go with my husband because he would otherwise be waiting alone for three or more hours. As we were in the car my friend texted me . She had an extra (free) ticket to see that night's show of Book of Mormon, would I like to go? It was about 10 or 11am, the show wasn't until that night. The answer should be so simple, I was headed into NYC, anyway, right?
Wrong.
I have two chronic diseases that can't handle long days of "outside" food and city walking. At 34 I have taken on the persona of a timid 82 year old that must think thoroughly of the mundane challenges each activity lays out before me - will there be bathrooms (anyone else out there with Crohn's disease?), what will I be able to eat (thank you gluten and dairy allergies), and what the heck am I going to do if my Intracranial Hypertension acts up (blinding headaches, vision problems, dizziness and light-headedness). So, in all honesty, there is has been an easy answer for me, for fear of being hospitalized on someone else's watch; it's a very unfortunate, "No thank you."
However, before I could even read the text aloud to my husband, I almost got knocked over by ONE THOUGHT: "Nicole, what if there's nothing?" I don't know who said it, because it didn't even sound like my internal voice, but it changed everything. My internal response, "Then this is it. Then now is what matters." I then read the text to my husband and followed it up with, "It would be ridiculous to say 'No', wouldn't it?" I think he was overjoyed and almost crashed the car that I presented it in such a way!
Needless to say, I went (would I be writing about it if I had not?). I survived. It was awesome. I then continued to do things I normally wouldn't for about three more days. It was all perfect and then I completely crashed, got sick, and needed a couple of days to recover, but - guess what? - that usually happens when I am playing it safe and staying home anyway! Thinking about the possiblity of nothing later, helped me make something of now.
So... what if there really is nothing??
Finally, My Answer to the What IF?
To be honest, if there is nothing, it will break my heart more than death itself. I've got a lot of people (and pets) I've been planning to see. Plus, God and I have an appointment (He is well aware and has penciled me in somewhere in His eternal calendar...) He and I are going to talk - the topic: Why?
Beyond the heart-breaking actuality of nothingness, the possibility of it has reawakened a piece of me that diagnoses, hospitalizations, surgeries and life-altering choices based on medical abilities and inabilities had tucked away into the dark recesses of my soul. I am realistic about what I can and can not do, but I can't forget that living is on my "can do" list! And that is super-duper important just in case there's nothing after this whole game ends!
As I wrote in the prompt for this "What if?" I have heard John Lennon's "Imagine
" song an innumerable amount of times. I have sung along, I have indeed imagined that there was no heaven, no hell and that people were living for today. I understood the premise behind the song (and still do), and can validate the argument put forth within it. Our world needs to come together for the here and the now while we share this space. It is a message to us all, not necessarily, something for my solitary consideration.A New Perspective...
It follows, then, that it is not the nature of the idea of nothing after death that was new to me when I saw that episode of Torchwood
that triggered all of this, it was, instead, my perception of the idea.When presented with a resurrected dead man saying that there's "nothing" after death in the midst of a sci-fi television show, my mind went in a completely different direction than it had once gone with John Lennon's melody. This had nothing to do with war, or peace, or hunger or greed - this was a single human being expressing his fear that what he saw when he died was nothing, just darkness. It was a personal, not global, realization and I think that made all of the difference to me. While John Lennon asked the masses to ponder the idea of nothing after death, this television show presented it to me, alone, not to save the world, but instead to think about.The Question Haunts...
I didn't say anything. I didn't act on it. I didn't even write about it. The word "nothing" just swirled in my head. I figured I was merely obsessing over the long-term storyline of the Torchwood series.
Until two days later.
We were off to Manhattan to take my mother-in-law for some medical tests. I agreed to go with my husband because he would otherwise be waiting alone for three or more hours. As we were in the car my friend texted me . She had an extra (free) ticket to see that night's show of Book of Mormon, would I like to go? It was about 10 or 11am, the show wasn't until that night. The answer should be so simple, I was headed into NYC, anyway, right?
Wrong.
I have two chronic diseases that can't handle long days of "outside" food and city walking. At 34 I have taken on the persona of a timid 82 year old that must think thoroughly of the mundane challenges each activity lays out before me - will there be bathrooms (anyone else out there with Crohn's disease?), what will I be able to eat (thank you gluten and dairy allergies), and what the heck am I going to do if my Intracranial Hypertension acts up (blinding headaches, vision problems, dizziness and light-headedness). So, in all honesty, there is has been an easy answer for me, for fear of being hospitalized on someone else's watch; it's a very unfortunate, "No thank you."
However, before I could even read the text aloud to my husband, I almost got knocked over by ONE THOUGHT: "Nicole, what if there's nothing?" I don't know who said it, because it didn't even sound like my internal voice, but it changed everything. My internal response, "Then this is it. Then now is what matters." I then read the text to my husband and followed it up with, "It would be ridiculous to say 'No', wouldn't it?" I think he was overjoyed and almost crashed the car that I presented it in such a way!
Needless to say, I went (would I be writing about it if I had not?). I survived. It was awesome. I then continued to do things I normally wouldn't for about three more days. It was all perfect and then I completely crashed, got sick, and needed a couple of days to recover, but - guess what? - that usually happens when I am playing it safe and staying home anyway! Thinking about the possiblity of nothing later, helped me make something of now.
So... what if there really is nothing??
Finally, My Answer to the What IF?
To be honest, if there is nothing, it will break my heart more than death itself. I've got a lot of people (and pets) I've been planning to see. Plus, God and I have an appointment (He is well aware and has penciled me in somewhere in His eternal calendar...) He and I are going to talk - the topic: Why?
Beyond the heart-breaking actuality of nothingness, the possibility of it has reawakened a piece of me that diagnoses, hospitalizations, surgeries and life-altering choices based on medical abilities and inabilities had tucked away into the dark recesses of my soul. I am realistic about what I can and can not do, but I can't forget that living is on my "can do" list! And that is super-duper important just in case there's nothing after this whole game ends!
"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do."
~John Wooden
Only thing left to do now is finally make my bucket list (since I have no excuse not to anymore)!
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