New Friends vs. Old Friends

In today's book review for StoryDam.com I reviewed a book called Question of the Day: Where Truth is the Dare by Al Katkowski. In an effort to demonstrate the types of questions the book asks, I used random.org to pick a page in the book and asked StoryDam readers to answer it.

I realized it would be pretty cruel if I didn't at least follow suit, even though I find this question a difficult one to answer. Here's the question of the day:

My Answer:

I am happy to see that this question is ranked as one of the "heavy" questions of the book because it is something that is more difficult to answer than I thought it would be when I first read it.

First of all, I am not the most social person in the world, so I can't say that there are a huge number of "new friends" to think about in terms of this question. My local writing group accounts for the first group of people that I have regularly socialized with since having to leave work due to my illness.

My natural response to this question would be that my newer friends know more about my passion for writing than my older friends. However, since my husband still works in the place where I worked and many of my older friends run into him, I am often told by him that people say they "love reading" what I write. They don't comment, or let me know this, so I would never think that this is the fact.

I honestly can not think of anything else, but this is for one big reason: Facebook. I am connected with my many of my older friends through Facebook and, as anyone who is my Facebook friend knows, I am a huge (over)sharer on that social media network. Therefore, anything that my new friends may learn about me, I would, most likely, come back to Facebook to share myself. Is this odd? Maybe. But I feel like the whole point of staying connected to older friends in this way. 

So what is your answer to this Question of the Day?

 How difficult do you find this question to answer?

OMG! I Forgot I Have A Blog!! [IWSG]

Okay... at least a little part of me is joking. I did not really forget that I have a blog. I simply have been unable to sit down and focus on the things that I typically write about. The main culprit seems to be "pregnancy brain," or so I've been told.

from pregnancyhumor.com

When Pregnancy Brain Attacks

My reading challenge for 2013 on Goodreads is never going to be accomplished and my writing plans for this year have all but been squashed. I have been able to read things in short snippets - such as magazine articles or things that flash by on the Internet, but a whole book? No way. I have been strictly in audiobook land snce I started growing my little boy. And, at that, it is a one book at a time, needing to rewind frequently, kind of pace.

As for writing, I have to thank God over and over again for my writing group. If it were not for our weekly meetings, writing prompts and the writing assignments we give each other in between I don't think I would get any other writing done. It is frustrating, but it also feels strangely natural, which, to be completely honest with you, scares the hell out of me.

Arguing "Just for Me"

I love my blog and my writing - I don't want either one to wilt away on me. I have committed to writing for StoryDam.com twice a week and keeping that up has been a struggle for me. I don't know how to add more on top of it when it is something that is "just for me."

And there are, quite possibly, the silliest words I have ever written. "Just for me" might be the most important reason for doing anything... ever. Particularly since my life is about to transform in such a way that every breathing moment will be dedicated to the livelihood of another. My "just for me" moments are probably running out!

Physical Roadblocks to My Creative Endeavors
 
Of course, two things are physically in the way of me getting any writing done: exhaustion and incessant nesting. The exhaustion is hilarious - I am basically a narcoleptic. This morning, as my husband left for work he told me he thought I should go back to bed. "Don't be ridiculous!" I said, "I am wide awake and I have to write a post for Story Dam, anyway!" I closed the door behind him and made myself some oatmeal for breakfast. I don't know what happened after I finished that oatmeal except to say that approximately five hours after my husband left for work, I woke up in a drooling stupor, on my couch, with every light on in the house and the television blasting. I still had not written my post for Story Dam. I wish I could tell you that this was out of the ordinary for me. It is not.

from Belle La Vie

On the other hand, when I am blessed with bouts of energy, like I was yesterday, I am filled with only one goal in mind: get this house in order! I have written about this house a number of times - the flood, the fact that I have lived here my entire life, and the fact that it isn't exactly... well... put together. When I was teaching, my work came first and my house barely held fast on its foundation. When I came home to deal with my disease, I was too sick to do much of anything. Now that I am somewhere in between the two worlds of "too busy" and "too sick" my eyes are finally opened to the reality around me. Unfortunately, I still live in the world of "too poor" to make the dramatic types of improvements truly necessary, but, in between I can at least clean up the debris of the chaos that has swirled within these walls for years.

And how does one make time for themselves when that reality exists? My answer, thus far, has been that one does not. My answer has been that I am not as important as my setting. And while I feel so much better with the progress that I have been able to make in certain portions of this house, innately I know something is very wrong about this line of logic. A part of me keeps asking if I am just making excuses, if there is something else holding me back from letting my mind wander while I write. Or am I being irresponsible even thinking that "I should be writing" instead of doing more laundry?

from blog.cashcrate.com

Finding The Balance

I know somewhere in between there is a balance. There is a place where I can write, blog, read, keep my house in order and build a baby. All is possible. I simply have to allow myself to believe that again. I also have to allow myself to believe that I deserve it all.

What kind of mom will I be if I squash my own desires? While I want to store up all of my creative juices to pour onto my baby boy (did I tell you that?! I'm having a little mister!), I am beginning to realize that bottling them up in the interim will merely make them atrophy. I need to work these creative muscles out so I can shower my son with the best that I have to offer - not only in parenting responsibilities, but also in beautiful visions of the world around him. 

Have you ever been faced with something in your life that you felt was "more important" than your writing? How did you deal with it and find a balance?

For those who have experienced pregnancy brain - did you ever find a cure besides giving birth? What things became impossible for you while afflicted?

Refreshed, Revived and Re... Writing

I just came back from my writing group which has become so popular we have switched from meeting once every two weeks to meeting every week. The fact is, the only writing I am doing lately is in relation to this group. I don't know if it is pregnancy brain or something else, but I have been unable to focus on two things that are pretty pivotal to my existence as a sane human being: reading and writing.

I keep telling myself that it is the exhaustion associated with the first trimester and that there is an end in sight, but I know that is more than that. First and foremost, I must bring myself to the page. I am at the point where I must FORCE myself to write. Not because it is torture, but because it is, in fact, the opposite. Writing is my release, if I don't do it I am bound to get overwhelmed with little more than my existence.

Sophia, the organizer of our writing group, called us all to action this week. She brought light to the fact that we aren't pushing ourselves to a solid writing goal. She's right. I know, personally, I have started treating my writing like more of a hobby than a passion.

Enough is enough.

Time for me to get back to work. Time for me to embrace, once again, that this is work. However, just like my teaching, this is the kind of work that reaps rewards that are so very worth the time and effort.

What things help to reboot your writing habits?

Do you have a writing group that you meet with regularly?

Secrets REVEALED!!

I wrote this yesterday, but once the phone began to ring and the Facebook lit up, I was unable to post it:

Ten days ago I was cracking at the seems with a desperate desire to spill a secret that I wasn't sure I was able to do.

Today's the day. The secret is out. And here it is:

I'm PREGNANT!!!!

Oh my Lord. How good is it to type those words? Even better is knowing the truth behind them.

This is it. I am having a baby.


Then for a completely different perspective of the news, forgetting that I wrote the above yesterday, I wrote this today:

Something happens when you spend years of your life hospitalized, sick and suffering - people look at you differently. They don’t even know it. They don’t realize that when they ask you how you are doing that a glaze of sadness falls over their eyes. They don’t realize that your heart breaks every time you realize you are the one to bring them down even if it’s just for a flicker of a moment.

I stopped sharing with people face to face. It was something that had to be done to save my own sanity and do what I thought needed to be done to relieve them of their pity. When I had to have an emergency eye surgery to save my eyesight, I begged my husband to keep the location a secret from everyone. I love the support showered upon me, I just didn’t want to hurt everyone else. Wasn’t it enough that I was hurting? How dare I cast that upon those I loved?

Slowly, things got better. But by that point I had already locked myself in a world of isolation that no longer included phone calls, human to human interaction and the look in people’s eyes. Good news was shared through the grapevine, via my husband or, my old faithful, the Facebook status.

Then the miracles came. Opportunities to share things with people that couldn’t possibly cast a shadow on their souls started to finally occur. Little by little, I was turning into someone who had good news to share once again. I was turning back into the person who could shine sunlight into your day. I wanted to share. I wanted to scream it all from the rooftops.

Except for one thing… the haunting possibility that the miracle could be shattered before its true fruition. Sharing the news too soon ran the risk of bringing everyone to their knees in the event of a not so uncommon mishap. The miracle would have to remain secret. My joy would remain my own due to the threat of my unlucky medical history.

Yesterday I was finally able to share that secret. Yesterday I was able to shed my curse of bad news and bring friends and family to tears of joy. Yesterday I was finally able to tell the world I am pregnant.

And today I am telling you.

There are no words to fully encapsulate how overjoyed and blessed I am feeling to not only have this be true, but also to be able to share it. I am 12 weeks today and everything about the baby and me thus far has been healthy. A simple seven letter word so many take for granted, but one that brings tears of joy to me on a daily basis.

I’ve been super tired and maybe I can’t concentrate on things as well as I normally do (reading and writing have been super challenging), but everything else has been wonderful - no morning sickness, no cravings or food aversions, so far no crazy mood swings - just growing lovingness.

At the conclusion of this, I realize this doesn’t capture any of the thrill, excitement or overwhelming joy that I am feeling every moment of every day, but that’s because my writing always serves a different voice - the quiet one within my heart. The voice who desperately wants to say she is sorry for getting sick, for breaking people’s hearts and for not being strong enough to share all of her difficulties with everyone who loves her so deeply. The voice who silently tells me it was wrong to lock people out and who knows it is time to learn how to bring them back in.

Now I feel like a complete schizophrenic reading those two announcements side by side. However, I still feel like they both belong. Forgive me!!

Top 10 Character Names I Love

This week's Top Ten Tuesday from The Broke and the Bookish feels oddly appropriate for me right now with NaNoWriMo right around the corner. One of the things I become all consumed with when starting a new fiction project is the naming of my characters. Will I ever do a good job? Will the names give away too much? Will they not represent the characters at all? Too many questions filter through my mind. Strangely, when I read a book, I don't analyze the character names on the same level - I read them and love them or hate them as the character develops. Occasionally, when I learn about there derivations later on, those feeling can be altered by what I learn.

Top 10 Character Names I Love

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1. The cast of characters on The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

As soon as I read this week's topic I thought of Hazel and Augustus. These two names just jumped off the page for me for some reason. I think part of the reason for me is that Augustus has always impressed me as a very strong name, so to be given to a sick kid was something I loved. He may not have been strong physically, but his name drove me to find his strength in other places. Also, later on I learned that Isaac's name was intentionally a name with "EYE" in it, for a boy who was blind. I love that.  


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2. Eustace Clarance Scrubb in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader and The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis

He was introduced in the most wonderful way: "There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it." How do you not love a character name like this?! Instantly all types of feelings rise up inside about this little boy. Poor Eustace, you may think, until you realize, Oh no... he deserved it. I better watch out for this kid! Brilliant character naming!

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3. Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling

Let's be honest, there could be an entire list of Harry Potter names I love, but Luna Lovegood is my favorite. This could be because I have a secret fascination with the moon, but as we meet Luna and learn more and more about her, the name simply becomes her. At first, we swear she's a bit Loony, hence the Luna fits a little too well, but as we peel away the layers of her idiosyncrasies, we find that she is 100% sincere in all of her beliefs and devotions. Luna loves really, really good!

4. Annabel Lee from Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe

I love this poem. How could I not fall in love with Annabel Lee after Edgar Allen Poe tells me how wonderful she was - or rather - how wonderful their love was? We never truly get a description of Annabel Lee, but the love she an the author shared was envied by angels - how wonderful! I have never met an Annabel Lee, so, for me, this name has always represented the magical entity of true love!


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5. Arya Stark and Jon Snow from A Song of Ice and Fire series by George RR Martin

This is another series jam packed with brilliant character names, however, my two favorites come from the North. It is no surprise to me that Arya (or Aria) is rising up in popularity in girl's names within the last couple of years. It is such a pretty sounding name. It is so very girly sounding, which makes Arya Stark an even more awesome character. She gives this feminine name a whole new depth with her every action. Her half-brother, Jon Snow, is another fascination for me. I can not readily identify what it is exactly I love about this name, but the fact that he has the last name "Snow" is the piece I can't let go of. He is a Stark by blood, but, instead he must be named for the number one visual cue that WINTER IS COMING.

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6. Cinder in The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer

The first book in the series is a retelling of the Cinderella. I love that the protagonist is named Cinder. It is an obvious nod to the inspiration for the story, but it is also an appropriate name for a girl who spends most of her time as a mechanic.


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7. Lena Duchannes and Ethan Wate from the Caster Chronicles by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl

So far I have only read book one, but one of the things that I loved about that book was how I felt like I was completely immersed in the culture of the South. That begins with these names! Both Lena and Ethan have old southern family names that are just dripping with southern accents, peach cobbler, lush green landscapes and the unforgiving heat of an afternoon in the south east.


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8. Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien

I'm a sucker for alliteration, in general, so there is no surprise that Bilbo Baggins makes this list. Also, long before I was introduced to The Shire and Middle Earth this is one of those names that sounded like the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life. Now I know it is just plain Hobbit perfection!  (Side Note: A separate list of awesome LotR names could be made here.)

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9. Arthur Radley from To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

What? WHO? Oh... you probably know him by his much cooler name: BOO RADLEY. Forgive me for including him in nearly ever top ten list The Broke and The Bookish give me - I can't help myself. I LOVE BOO!

10. Mr. Men and Little Miss characters from the Mr. Men and Little Miss Books

This character naming genius at its best. When I was a kid I gobbled up these cute little characters and the pieces of me they represented.

Keeping Secrets As A Writer

Personally, I don't really like secrets. I'm a sharer - big time. As a writer, I feel like I share even more than I probably should most of the time. As a facebook addict, my life has become an open book in ways I never would have previously imagined. I find it difficult to keep my personal feelings private, my dreams, my philosophies on all types of topics are the things I write about, react to and, yes, SHARE. Even when I go forth with the intention of keeping something private, I find that its essence leaks through my written word. I don't know if others can read between the lines, but I can.

So what happens when I have been asked to keep something really important as a secret?

Simple. Writer's block.

Although, I don't know if writer's block is the accurate term. My fingers so desperately want to tap out long sinewy sentences about the juicy details of that which resides in my brain, but my frontal lobe knows better: BLOCK! This is a secret. It must be kept quiet. The fingers must stay still, or occupy themselves with some other tale to be spun.

Seems easy enough - write about something else. Write about anything else, Nicole. Won't that help you keep this secret?

These are the things that I thought. But as my blog reflects, that has not been possible as of late. That is why today I am at least writing about the elephant in the room. I will not describe the elephant, or tell you what he is standing on, but I wanted you to know he is there. It is my hopes that in pointing him out, I will now be able to write around him.

Elephant in the room by Greg Pizzoli

How do you feel about secrets? 

How do keep your mind from becoming obsessed with your silence?

Does writing help you keep your secrets? If so, HOW?

Lines To Learn About Writing

I'm back (barely) for day two of New York Comic Con. Today marks my little Brother's first-ever ComicCon, so I spent the morning being a fandom your guide. However, the moment it turned 12:30 I had to abandon my post since there were two "non-negotiable" panel set in my schedule.

The first was a writing workshop by one of the greatest writers in modern comics:

The second was a a panel that reaches into the depths of my weaknesses as a writer right now:

For the first panel, the room was booked and I was invited to wait outside *in case* someone came outside. I waited. I got to the front of the "just in case" line, but never got in. Instead I spent time chatting it up with an awesome stranger. It was her first time at the Con and we had fun just crossing our fingers together. 

Right now I'm on a pretty long line for the second panel crossing my fingers that they have room for me. I'm behind all of these people:

And now we're moving!! Here's hoping I've got tips to share pretty soon about writing badass chicks!!

I Miss My Press Pass Already

So I'm here, at New York Comic Con and I am filled with a longing for a pass I have no right to. For the last two years I came to this event with a Press Pass. The first year because they were lenient enough to grant a pass to a lowly blog like Rivera Runs Through It. The second year it was an easy get as I was on assignment for the good people over at Word of the Nerd. This year I was, rightfully, denied such access. 

I took the news in stride knowing how lucky I was to enjoy the luxury while I could, but, in the interim, I truly forgot how the other half lives. I have been sent to what my husband and have come to call "the cattle line" just to gain entry. Here's a picture of where I am:

We aren't moving because the doors haven't even opened and I am here by myself wondering why the hell I didn't pack a KIND bar and praying my water will last (<---- extra dramatic for no reason!!).

Wish me luck everyone! This year will be quite interesting as I walk in the shoes of the common folk. 

**this marks my first-ever live blog. How did I do?**

What's Up With Nicole?

It's time for me to return to some routines here. With that comes What's Up Wednesday from Jaime Morrow! Here we go:


Shop Indie BookstoresWhat I'm Reading

Right now I am in the middle of listening to the Clash of Kings audiobook by George R. R. Martin.  I still haven't decided if I am going to continue on to book three of the series since I know the Game of Thrones HBO series hasn't finished that book yet, but I will have to make a decision soon. So far I have watched everything before reading in this series, I'm not sure I want to switch gears.

What I'm Writing

I'm back at work on my Camp NaNoWriMo project called Now What? I actually hadn't read a word of it since the end of April 2012, so coming back to it this week was a lot of fun. I can see a lot issues I have to work on that mostly deal with description (both character and location). Since the book takes place in New York City, I think I have too strong of a mental visual of these places I go to all of the time, that I am forgetting that anyone reading the story not from around here may have no idea what this world looks like. I've decided to put my story on Wattpad while I work on it to help to keep me accountable while possibly getting some exposure as well. If you're in the critiquing mood, please feel free to go check out Now What? (or at least the portion I have posted so far!).

What Inspires Me Right Now

I have to give credit where credit is due - my writing group helps me so much. Due to my health and other wacky conflicts, I was unable to make it to any writing group meetings in the entire month of September. This past Saturday, even though it was my birthday, I made it a point to get my butt to the first October meeting. What happened? I was finally inspired to get back to all of my words!


What Else I've Been Up To 

The one thing I have been able to keep up with has been my writing for the StoryDam website. Each Monday has been a new segment in the Building a Better Blog series and Wednesdays have been split between Author Interviews and Book Reviews.

Coming up I have a pretty exciting weekend ahead because it is NEW YORK COMIC CON!!! Tomorrow is the first day, and I'll be going every day but Saturday, so I have to start getting my act together. This is loads of fun, but it is also quite trying on this weak little body of mine. I have to pace myself, pack lunch and snacks and make sure I don't over do it! (Wish me luck!) The best part about this year's NYCC for me is that my little brother is coming with me on Friday! This will be his first time, so it is going to be loads of fun!!

My Story on Wattpad

Last Spring I found out about and opened an account on Wattpad, but I haven't done anything with it since. Also, back in the Spring I wrote my second novel which I called Now What? On Monday, I decided to unearth both of these forgotten experiments and bring them both to life. I posted (so far) the first two chapters of my first draft of Now What? on my Wattpad account.

I reread the novel on Monday and discovered that what I had written was more of a YA romance than a YA scifi book. Alas, it is what it is. It needs more editing, but I hope to add more chapters in the coming weeks. As it stands, the first draft is 13 chapters long. I'd love to know what you think of the first two chapters. If you have the time, here they are:

I know I need to do a better job of writing my description, but I've decided to start sharing as I tinker with this story, instead of keeping it all secret.

Have you ever used Wattpad or a website like it to share your writing?

Have you ever set our to write one genre and come up with another?

 

I AM 37

When I entered the second grade, my entire life changed. My parents had always wanted me in Catholic school, but it wasn't until then that a school bus was made available to my neighborhood to make their dream a reality. Their dream was my nightmare: I had to lose my friends, wear a uniform and go to a foreign place to learn about God every day instead of just sing about Him on Sundays. I cried the whole way there on my first day and then froze in silent horror when then car door opened. My shyness was suddenly compounded by fear. I shared polite smiles and nodded when people spoke to me, but words were all but lost.

Inside the classroom the organization began with our seating. It was alphabetical so I, who had sat front-row-center in my first grade class, had been relegated to the last seat in the last row of the classroom.  I felt like an outsider, an add-on, one who could easily be left out.

Our first assignment was to learn to cover our textbooks and put our "numbers" on them. Each one of us was given a number based on our alphabetical placing. I was 37.  To this day I can picture the brown paper covered book spines with the large black number 37 etched on it - those were my books. I was number 37. No one else ever was. In subsequent years, we lost students, so that I would eventually become 36 (it felt so wrong for me to be using all of Michael T.'s books that year), but never did we ever get more students. No one else would ever be 37.

Since that labeling, the number 37 has always held an awkwardly special place in my heart. It was "my thing" in that new school: I was last. Last in the seating, last to come to the school, last to be finished copying the notes from the board, last to be done with a test and, as a rider of the "Green" bus which was notoriously late, many times I was the last one in school. However, in all that finality, there was also a uniqueness because no one else could be me - not in reality, nor in our silly numbered system.

This past Saturday was my birthday and with it came a familiar label than makes me feel like this is a year I have been waiting for nearly thirty years. I am 37 years old. In other words, after all these years, I am 37 all over again.

What does it mean for me? It feels right. And, based on the month leading up to it, it also feels like I might be able to take hold of the reigns of my life again and get moving in the direction I originally intended with this adult life. Just like back in the second grade, I may be the last one to get to all of the finish lines we set out before ourselves, but that doesn't mean I won't get there. I am 37 and my time has finally come.

Today

Some days feel so ordinary when they begin. They carry no weight of their own based on schedule, date or expectation. Today, like another September 11th in my life, began that way. The only significance today held was in its expectation of tomorrow. So much so that all I wrote about on this blog was tomorrow.

Tomorrow is no longer the date that shall live in infamy in this family. Today is.

I was scheduled to have my final disability hearing tomorrow morning. This journey began in May 2011. I had my first hearing on February 12, 2013. A second was scheduled for July 19, 2013, then postponed on July 18th. Tomorrow was the rescheduled date.

At exactly 4:00pm I received a phone call from my lawyer's office telling me I was no longer required to go to the hearing. I thought it was postponed again.

I was wrong.

The judge made her decision. It was favorable. It is over. I have been approved.

I thank you all that have kept me in your prayers, that have sent your well wishes and that have continued to be understanding as I unendingly write about my personal dramas.  Today couldn't have happened without you.

Tomorrow

The facts are the facts: I do not deal with stress well. Tomorrow is my disability hearing and, as a result, I have been unable to partake in my daily routines this entire week.

There's nothing I can do to prepare for tomorrow's event and there is not much that I can even do tomorrow. I know that worrying does nothing to serve me, but I seem thoroughly unable to stop myself.

This is it.

And along with it a lot of other things will either fall into place or fall apart.

I will say honestly in this moment that I am terrified. I have been told that one way or another a decision must be made by the end of this month since I applied in May 2011. The terror comes from the fact that all of my medical records have been turned over and every single fact that can be proven about my conditions are in the hands of the judge, but I am still only 36 years (about to be 37) and that is extremely young to be stepping out of the workforce. I am still living in a world where people take advantage of the system and, therefore, cast doubt into the minds of those with my fate in their hands. I still have two conditions that leave no physical resonance for laymen to see and I have learned how to smile through the pain.

I don't know if my judge continues to debate over my case because she does not trust my intention, or if it is because she is wary of setting a precedence concerning my rare disease. I don't know what she needs to hear, see or understand in order to make her decision.

Here is what I do know:

• I know I love to work. I would not keep a blog if I did not. I love to be connected with other people and to have "assignments" that need to be done to the best of my ability to either serve or inform others.
• I know my body will not allow me to work. In the two years since I applied for disability support I, of course, have doubted whether or not I need this support. Every time the question arises, symptoms come raging back in to remind me of one fact: "Disability does not mean death." In other words, I should not feel guilty about the "good days" that I have - to be on disability doesn't mean that I should be living in a hospital. These are the facts: I am not well enough, consistently enough to be employable. (Those of you who have stuck around long enough here at Rivera Runs Through It can attest to my inconsistency - and that's with the ability to schedule posts ahead of time!)
• I know this doesn't have to be forever. Getting disability benefits does not mean that I have to give up on the prospect of getting better, of healing, of even someday being cured. This is not a life sentence. It is the help I need to heal myself. I can re-enter the workforce someday once I find the treatments (or cures) that ensure that the good days out number the bad. 
• I know that there are more people than I possibly even realize that are praying for me right now and I couldn't be more grateful.
• I know that whatever the decision ends up being, I will be okay... I will make sure of it. Even if I have to flip my life upside down.

Tomorrow, September 12, 2013 at 10:30 am, is my disability hearing. Tomorrow I will have to live in the misery where every second I have to remind myself how sick I am instead of focusing on the wonderful in-betweens that keep me smiling. Tomorrow, I pray, will be the end to this chapter. 

Audiobook Review - Fire With Fire by Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian

Note: The book written about in the following blog post was given to me by the publisher (Simon  & Schuster Audio) in exchange for an honest review.

The first book I read from last year's BEA was Burn For Burn  by Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian(my Burn for Burn book review). When I started, I had no idea I was committing myself to another YA series, but by book's end, I realized that the story was just beginning. Now that I have just finished the audiobook version of its sequel, Fire With Fire, I am blown away by all that was kept from me all this time!

Fire With Fire is a novel told from multiple POVs that continues the story these two authors started in Burn For Burn. While the first book felt like it was a group of girls looking for justice, I had the uncomfortable feeling all throughout book two that I was listening to the story of how "mean girls" are made. One thing is for sure, Han and Vivian know how to write catty girls and the boys who cluelessly socialize with them. About halfway through the book, I was getting a little disappointed that this might be all the book had to offer. That's about the point that I got smacked sideways.

If you read Burn For Burn, then you must pick up Fire With Fire just to see how out of hand things can really get. If you are thinking of just jumping in with Fire With Fire without reading Burn For Burn first, I will say this: it is not impossible, but at some point, this book is just going to make you want to read the first book, so why not just start there in the first place. In fact, the urge to do so is so strong that even I, who had alread read Burn for Burn, needed to grab that book off my shelf and reread!

The Audiobook

The audiobook has three narrators (Joy Osmanski, Madeleine Maby, and Rebekkah Ross) just like the written version, so it does a great job of immersing you in the various personalities you have to contend with throughout the tale. I don't know how old these narrators are, but they were all believable teenagers performing at just the right tone for each of the girls they spoke for.


My Review (in short)

For fans of high school girl drama and those who have read Burn For Burn, this is a must-read. Whether you go for the print-version or the audiobook, I'm sure you'll enjoy the teen drama and the great ending. Mid-way through this read I didn't think I'd be saying this, but now I'm waiting on pins and needles for book three!

Have you been reading the Burn For Burn series?

What are your feelings about reading about bullies and their victims? 

What about when victims fight back?

Back to Routines [What's Up Wednesday]

It's Wednesday and summer in the Rivera household is officially over. My husband went back to work yesterday, so we are reconstructing normal sleep cycles and I'm doing what I can to build a routine for myself. That's a little bit of What's up this Wednesday (thanks to Jamie Morrow for asking!), here's the rest:

What I'm Reading

I am having so much fun in the reading realm this week! The first book I am reading right now is Fangirl by Rainbow Rowel. I LOVE it. I am intentionally not rushing through it because I can already tell it is a book I will mourn over. I already don't want it to end and I haven't even reached page 100.

Who Owns the Future? by Jaron Lanier is an audiobook I just started yesterday while doing my around the house chores. This book is going to blow my mind. As a person who spends a good portion of her life online, I can just feel that this book is going to lead to a personal paradigm shift.

Thinking in Numbers by Daniel Tammet is the other audiobook that I started this weekend in celebration of school starting up. I was incredibly distracted while this one was playing, so I know I am going to have to go back and re-listen to what I heard so far because somewhere in there Mr. Tammet said that he looks at the connection(s) between fiction and mathematics - I can't think of anything cooler!

What I'm Writing

I started my Memory Project on Monday (The Memory Project Begins). I wrote down my first memory story inspired by Zeppoles. While I am happy with what I wrote, officially starting the project has planted some seeds of insecurity as I wrote about in today's Insecure Writer's Support Group post.

My writing goals for this week are:

•  to write at least one blog post every week day (which will require scheduling ahead to guard against my sick days that will, unfortunately, show), 
• to write at least one "memory" for the Memory Project before next Wednesday
• to submit something to my writing group (meeting this Saturday) for critique

What Inspires Me Right Now

The empty house.

It's just me and Champ (my dog) until about 4PM each day. Of course I have a ton of chores to do and next week is going to be my disability hearing (meaning that at some point soon I am going to melt down from the nerves), but in the in between there is quiet and one thing I have learned is that:

What Else I'm Up To

I am embracing a Japanese tradition. I am creating 1000 origami cranes. When I first heard about it, the legend was that the person who creates 1000 cranes gets cured of an illness, which sounded awesome to me. After researching it to begin, I found out that it is actually that the creator is granted a wish - not too bad either. As of this writing I am up to 70 cranes and I find the entire process very relaxing. I make cranes while watching movies. I make cranes while on hold during stressful phone calls. I make cranes all over the place. Here are some pictures of my cranes so far:

Rewriting Memories [IWSG]

Since taking a huge step forward on my Memory Project on Monday (The Memory Project Begins), I started to realize that one part of this project is going to be a lot easier than the other. The story I wrote on Monday was easy enough to write because it was my own vivid memory - the details and the dialogue lived within my mind for years. That part of the project, the part where I document my own memories of my father, will be the "easy" part. The other half (the part that I think I will have to rely upon so much more to finish my book for my brother), where I rewrite the memories of friends and family, will be so much more difficult.

Having rewritten one of my own memories on Monday I was reminded of the preciousness of our memories. How can I possibly rewrite someone else's memory with the same kind of passion that they will? When they read my recounting of their tales, will they see them as some bastardized version of their truth?  My path to capturing the memories has been through virtual interviews. I am doing this so I can have a copy of each interviewee's words. My memory has been pretty much terrible ever since I was diagnosed with IIH. Most people don't know how bad it is and I don't want to harass them with repeated calls asking them for the same details over and over again!


So I ask you, my dear Insecure Writer's Support Group (I missed you last month!), what techniques do you use when trying to write other people's stories? How do you interview non-writers in order to pull out their stories rather than just a listing of facts? What techniques do you use to write the story of someone who is long passed away?

Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

10 Books That Should Be Taught In Schools

Today my husband begins his tenth year as a high school English teacher. Three years ago I finished twelve years teaching in that same high school. It should come as no surprise then, that many of our conversations center themselves around what's going on in school, what should be going on in school and, after nearly every new read, there is a discussion about books that should be taught in schools. My poor husband has to deal with my pleas to bring new books to his department on a near weekly basis.

I am happy to say that sometimes it works! Many books I have recommended have made their way to the school's summer reading list (meaning I am not the only one recommending them), however, more need to be shared in a classroom. That being said, with the rolling out of the Core Curriculum this year, I fear many of these recommendations will begin to fall on deaf ears as there will be a shift toward more expository text. Even so, I won't give up! Here are my

10 Books That Should Be Taught In Schools

1. Little Brother by Cory Doctorow

I still can't believe I don't own this book for all of the love I have for it. I read this book a couple of years ago and instantly wished I was back in the classroom.  The educational potential of this book is unbounded. As I read I thought of so many ways I could have discussed the book in my Mathematics and Statistics classrooms. I thought of my colleagues that teach History and Political Science. Forget about the Computer classes! This book is built for debates, conversations and question ones beliefs. This book should be read in schools and discussed. Without question it is first on my list.  (my review)

2. Escape from Camp 14 by Blaine Harden

Throughout my entire reading of Escape from Camp 14 I was harassing my husband about its in-class potential. This is one book that it also Common Core friendly, as it retells the tale of a true survivor of the North Korean work camps. Books about the Holocaust and the concentration camps are always very popular in schools - and I am not necessarily suggesting that they are replaced - this book offers a modern-day equivalent of those horrors happening in our world today. Students need to be aware of what is going on in the world today as they begin to think about what kinds of lives they want to leave and what kind of impact they wish to make in our world. (my review)

3. Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

This is a choice that is purely for the fun of it. Teachers are always looking for high-interest readings. I can't think of a book that is more high-interest to the nerd-generation than this one. Of course, I think this might be a pipe-dream, because I don't know if it has broad enough appeal to engage the entire classroom.

4. Little White Duck by Na Liu

This is a graphic novel with some Core Curriculum appeal. It is a memoir of a little girl growing up in China. It is an incredibly quick read and I think it would be a great supplement to any teaaching about China's history, or alongside a novel with ties to Chinese culture.


5. Luz Sees the Light by Claudia Davila

This graphic novel might be more appropriate for middle school than the high school crowd I am typically thinking of, but its message is so important that I think it would serve us all really well if it could find its way into our classrooms. This is a book about a kid learning about the consequences of her purchases and making the shift into activism in a way that is appropriate for a child her age. (my review)


6. Last Survivors Series by Susan Beth Pfeffer

First of all, I discovered that there is now a FOURTH BOOK IN THIS SERIES while at the bookstore this weekend. I am so excited. This series is a fictional series where the moon gets knocked too close to Earth, therefore changing the weather patterns and entire environmental landscape of our planet. Each book is told from a different point of view. Why do I think this book should be taught in schools? Simple: it builds a huge appreciation for all of the conveniences we live with day in and day out. (my post on the first three survival stories)

7. Harry Potter's Bookshelf by John Granger

To be honest, I am not sure if this will have the same in school impact as it would have when I first read it. At that time, nearly every kid in the school building had read Harry Potter multiple times. This book dissects the story and show us, as the subtitle promises "the great books behind the Hogwarts adventures." I think reading this book could entice students who were major Potterheads to start to explore the classics that inspired it.

8. The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz

It is four simple rules for peaceful living. It's a quick read. Everyone should read it, so why not just read it in school.

9. Animals Make Us Human by Temple Grandin

I love animals. They deserve our respect and our protection when necessary. In Temple Grandin's book we are shown how to read animal emotions to ensure that we provide them with the safe and engaging life. Pair that with the fact that Temple Grandin is one of the most fascinating people on the planet and I say that there is just so much to learn from this book!

10. Skinny by Donna Cooper

Body image is such an issue for teens. This book deals with it head on as our protagonist battles with her own internal voice that tears her to pieces on a daily basis. I think this book can be a very important one for many students. (my review)

This post is in response to this week's Top Ten Tuesday hosted by The Broke and The Bookish. If you want to participate, write your post on the 10 books you think should be taught in school and add the link to the list!

In the meantime, what do you think about my list? Should any of these books be kicked off my list? Is there a book you have seen me write about that you can't believe is not here (I forgot a bunch, I think)? Finally, what was your favorite book that you read in school?