Friday, February 3, 2012

Soul Music

"There's no music," she says pulling the covers over her head.

"Well, let's put your radio on, then." Her iHome has been playing since the day we got it for her. She wakes to it, plays it after school and falls asleep to it. My little girl loves her music.

"Not that music," she muffles from under her comforter. "Please turn it off Mama."

I notice tears in her eyes. I climb over to lay beside her, "What music, then?"

"The music from Daddy. The music on the inside."

I've read books and remained active in the Church, but these moments are hollow. I want to cry with her, but she doesn't want to cry now. Right now, my baby wants music.

"Don't I give you music? ...and your sisters?"

"Yes, Mama, but it's not loud enough. Daddy's music was louder. Will he ever come home from Heaven?"

Pull your heart back together.
                                             Find your strength.
                                                                           Your child needs you.

"No, Baby, but he misses you. I know the Church says Heaven is always happy, but sometimes the people in Heaven get sad."

"That's not what Father Joe said," note to self: kick Father's ass on Sunday.

"Well, he's wrong," as I talk I feel her start to unwind, "I know because of the rain."

"The rain?"

"Yep. Rain means someone in Heaven is crying," as I talk, I wonder, Why can't this be true? "Sometimes they're happy tears --"

She looks at me and smiles, rolling her eyes, "Like you do sometimes when you watch those boring movies?"

I laugh, "Yes, like that. Some rain is like that, but sometime, like when a Daddy misses his ladies, the tears are sad."

"I hope Daddy's not sad a lot of the time."

"I know and I know he's hoping that you're not sad, too," we both sit quietly for a moment, then, "So... Should we get up now?"

"Not yet..."


The room stays quiet. I'm filling with the warmth of hope for our family. I could lay here all day, maybe she could too, but then

"Mama?" she whispers, "Do you hear it?"

"I can't believe it... I do."

"Mama," she leaps out of bed crossing to her window,  "I think Daddy is crying happy tears this time."

This post was written in response to a Red Writing Hood Prompt about music from the Write On Edge blog. Here's this week's prompt:
Show us in 400 words or less how your character reacts to a piece of music. It can advance a story line or provide a character sketch–or both! 

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